Housemanship (HO-ship) in Malaysia

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Hi! I'm back and still alive! xD

So far, so good. Housemanship life isn't as shit as it seems. Though it is too early to give a conclusion on it, but life as a houseman has its pros and cons.

Currently wrapping up my second posting in HPSF, Muar. 8 months into working as a HO, days gone by so swiftly, that I can't even believe I'm moving to my third posting here. Feels like there so much more to learn, yet 8 months passed by and 1 year and 4 months to go to complete this medical internship.

Day by day, I went through many ups and downs. Ultimately, there's only one thing that matters in this job - your competence at the end of this training period. Can you imagine being left alone at a district health facility without any specialist or seniors, having to face tricky situations or cases, ALONE? Having gone through this little amount of postings, I have yet no confidence to be left alone making big decisions like of those mentioned.

I'm lying if I say I've never felt like quitting this job to find other alternatives to this career. I did, multiple times. But with one leg already in this boat, almost reaching half the journey, there's no point of wasting my afford that had been put in all these while. Yes, you could argue, we should follow our heart and passions - to do what we love and to love what we do. But those are merely just sayings, in reality, those sayings are rather unrealistic. At least, to me.

Not gonna rant much here. Life is to be grateful of. I have a job, a shelter, transport, food, adequate money and good company. What's not to be thankful of? :)

Final advice to newbies and soon to be newbies to HO life in Malaysia :
1. Know basic clerking skills and physical examinations.
2. Plan your rotations arrangement well (if possible), start with the calmer departments first. This depends on your hospitals.
3. You and everyone else will face the same thing as first posters, it's just how you react and how you handle the situations that differs on how well you'll cope on.
4. Seek help and always ask if you don't know. No point being clueless and continue being clueless for days. (or you could just google if you don't know, lol)
5. Be a great team player. TEAMWORK is super important.
6. Don't leave shit to people, or else, face shit from people later.
7. Be helpful, and you'll see amazing help coming your way when you need it most.
8. Remember to eat and pee and wash your hands every now and then. LOL.
9. Care for patients with empathy, have a little kindness, treat them like family. But if they are too manja, hmmm.
10. DO NOT COMPARE YOURSELF TO YOUR COLLEAGUES! Because you will not know what the end looks like for everyone. You just focus on carving your career, live your life as colourful as you possibly can. ;)

Well, this is pretty much a general advice to everyone, really. Life isn't so hard if you don't think too much about it. Just live everyday like there will be no tomorrow.

Surgical department gave me life :D

Till later. Pray that this journey will be smooth sailing. Amiin.

Graduation to Housemanship (Malaysia) - Part 3

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Sooooooooooo, phewwwwwww.

WWW3 over with eHO! My God, the amount of dramas included in the eHO was crazy. The waiting since 10am in front of the laptops, the constant refreshing, the trolls, the 12pm clock strike and the rush of traffic into the website! Everything was pure insanity. Malaysia is the only place in the world with this kind of website race for a placement selection, just insane!!!

And up until today, I've heard many of my friends had problems with crashes, misplacements and emailing for resets of placements. Some were pushed to choose far away placements like Sibu, and etc. And the No. 1 hot selling cake was HTJ, Seremban of course! I'd imagine everyone in KL rushed to get a spot in Seremban 'cause its the nearest, the result of the compulsory thing they put on all Selangor/KL HO to work in non Klang Valley areas after 2 years of HO.

Okay, enough about the eHO thingy. Let's talk about how I feel right now.

Alhamdulillah, I managed to secure my target choice : HOSPITAL PAKAR SULTANAH FATIMAH (HPSF), MUAR, JOHOR! <3 p="">
So, since Tuesday, aftermath of the eHO wage of war, I've been feeling unsure of what I've picked. Either it's my inner-self doubt or just purely too much excitement, I just feel restless. Emotions running high, had to run here and there to get things done and some personal issues to deal with. :(

At the same time, I feel excited that I finally can officially do a Doctor's job and not just stand around and follow some useless and pointless ward rounds and clinics as medical student. And I promise to treat students as my future colleague! InshaaAllah :D

At this point, looking back. I realised there are a few important things that my medical school years had taught me about life :
1. Make great friends with both seniors and juniors, they are your FUTURE colleagues!
2. Make superb networking with every med school student you can meet, because you're going to be their colleagues.
3. Be kind to everybody because you don't know who will help you one day.
4. ENJOY med school because that is the only time you'll not worry about have responsibilities and other life stressors such as money and burdening assets (cars etc).

For the moment, I've been trying to search for a room/house to rent, but to no avail. Looks like houses in Muar are pretty scarce right now. Hopefully something will come up by next week. :/

Till then,
Dr. 'Aisha Ali
HPSF, Muar (soon) hehehe :D

Graduation to Housemanship (Malaysia) - Part 2

Assalamualaikum wbt.

As mentioned below (in my previous post), I will update once the next steps are in, and suprisingly, it was faster than usual waiting time. Thanks to the recent Bajet 2017 by our beloved PM (err).

So, received our SPA results as expected, mid November online. Waiting for it was agonising, it was only released at 5pm on 16th Nov officially. But, it's out anyways. The update was in SPA8i a day before the official results were out, and what it was just merely your No. simpanan amongst the 1315 applicants. The next day, the results could be checked on SPA's semakan keputusan temuduga.

This time around, the contract system is pioneered by this batch of Aug/Sept/Oct 2016 intake. We are as clueless as you are in this new system. Wished KKM/SPA are more transparent in delivering official statements and make us wait less, but ah it's the way the government bureaucracy is all these while. Redho jelah ye. :/

So, next week (22 Nov), the eHousemen2 will open and we are required to put in our choice of placement. Wish me luck in getting my desired spot! To Johor it is, Bangsa Johor to be! :P

The system is now changed, since we are employed by KKM instead of SPA now. So all issuance of employment is by KKM. The step of application is now a little different. We have to wait for eHO then print out the confirmed placement, only then bring it to MMC for the Sijil Pendaftaran Sementara. And as of KKM's BMD or some call is Senarai Semak (its the same thing for both), you can actually submit it using your previous Temporary MMC certificate and later just email them your new MMC sijil obtained. As far as I know, the BMD needs to be submitted before the PTM starts.

So, the PTM date is 5 December. Which is 2 weeks from now! I'm both excited and scared to imagine myself starting a new phase of life and finally taste the REAL MEDICAL DOCTOR life as dreamt. Whatever that comes, I shall embrace it military style, just swallow it like everybody else. Pleaseeeee pray that I'll go through these next 2 years with sabr and good intentions.

Till next time.
XOXO,
Dr. 'Aisha Ali

Graduation to Housemanship (Malaysia) - Part 1

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Holla! I'm back, after months (or years) of disappearance. Feels good to finally have some spare time to sit down and write again now. :)

So today, I'll be sharing about my timeline in transition of a medical school graduate to getting a Housemanship placement in Malaysia.

I graduated in mid-June 2016. Flew back to home grounds end of June 2016, and started my HO application journey early July (after Raya Aidilfitri).

Handed in the MMC application for the "Permohonan Sijil Pendaftaran Sementara" around mid-July and got it back 7 days later at 20th July 2016.

There and then I updated my MMC number in SPA8i under sijil ikhtisas or something and sent it! Please be reminded that you could open an account and fill in everything else even before you graduate, but SPA would only process it when you have your MMC number in it!

DO NOT DELAY sending in the online SPA8i application, I repeat DO NOT DELAY!!! The cut off point for the application was 26th/27th of July, so I heard. A few of my friends tendered it in later than those dates and had to wait for the next batch of SPA interview dates (Nov/Dec).

A month later (22nd August), notifications were sent out to inform people of their interview dates and details. I was scheduled for 11th of October. And Alhamdulillah, it went well yesterday for me! :D

I am too lazy to write up on my interview details, you can just google them and refer to these weblinks for document preparations :
eHousemen
How to Apply for HO - MMC KKM
How to Apply for HO - SPA interview
How to Apply for HO - eHouseman PTM

Next part would be updates on my SPA offer letter (within one month after the last interview date of this batch 14th Oct) and KKM submissions, might also include eHouseman applications and PTM. Stay tuned!

My approximate timeline of application :)

Good luck to whoever is reading this and applying for HO. ;)

Blessings happen in God's best timing

Assalamualaikum wbt.

7 years ago, I was clueless of what path of study to pursue into. I applied for a couple of scholarships right after the SPM results were out. Petronas left me thrilled when I was offer to attend their selection camp. But dad thought Mechanical Engineering wasn't the best fit for me. So next when JPA turned me down, a few months of foundation in PASUM blessed me with some great friendship that seem to last for life (InshaaAllah). MARA then offered me an AUCMS twinning programme in Medicine.

A year later on completion of my Pre-Medical studies, I was disappointed twice by the entrance interviews. So, I went ahead for an interview for MD UKM. It both flattered and saddened me when the Professors said, "we don't understand why you did not get through the entrance interview to Ireland, you are good enough to qualify for a spot to be fair ".(paraphrased) Eventually, I found out, my name was mistakenly confused on the list of interviewees that had passed.

Alhamdulillah, I did get to pursue my studies in Ireland regardless of those mini bumps. And today, after 5 years of mind opening, self-esteem polishing, and neuronal rewiring, here I am now, standing on the mythical grass of the Quad of NUI Galway, with a scroll that opens up a gate to a lifetime job as a medical practitioner and hopefully soon, a person that could bring little changes that the society needs. InshaaAllah. :)

Challenging Month

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Challenges in life affects each and everyone of us. And I am not an exclusion of the everyday-life-process.

To start off. There seem to be an accumulation and additions to the challenges I face lately, in these few of months. Particularly, financial and time-wise challenges.

Financial Instability
As most of my close friends know, I bought myself a decent secondhand car, after taking into consideration about all the future responsibilities that I have to hold on to for some period of time with this small liability. This is my 5th month of possession of a big asset as a student, and so far I have experienced both good and bad with my lovely wee car. The major aspect of it is the amount of insurance burden I have to pay and the monthly fuel, which won't feel much if I don't do long distances. And thank God this car is fuel efficient!

This month of March is officially financial crisis month for me. Why? Erm. Because I am on my GP placement these 2 weeks, which is in Ballaghaderreen, Co. Roscommon, an hour 35 minutes away driving from Galway. In between them, I have an orchestral performance in Rome, Italy in 4 days' time, and this requires me to commute to and fro Galway-Roscommon daily this week, as I have final orchestral practices to attend. Can you imagine driving up and down everyday for 3 hours with double jobs to do day and night? T-T

In addition to that tragic story, I have no rights to claim from MARA for my fuel AT ALL. Leaving me a big hole of expenses these 2 weeks alone. The reason? Having a car is a LUXURY? Which denies me my entitlement of claiming. As to those who commute by bus, there's unlimited amount of claims that could be made. And how about the energy and fuel you have to put in travelling by car? LUXURY?! Seemed not fair to me!

Time & Energy
I am not sure how am I gonna face the exhaustion of commuting, on top of the practices and performance in Rome later. Hopefully Allah will ease me and give me some boost in emotions too, for I will get really grumpy when I'm in my exhaustion state.

There are times when I have that flicker of regret at the back of my mind. Regrets of the big decision to buy a car, regrets of not changing my GP placement with someone else sooner and etc. But, come to think of it, I've been feeling fine throughout the year, despite minor challenges, and now I should really question myself, why can't I hold and bear a little bit more of these hurdles, as I know they are good for me in terms of making me a more responsible and mature person.

These are the moments that'll teach me how to manage my finances better and how to regain my creativeness in time planning too.

After all, everything will fall into place as He planned it to be and everything happens for a reason. :)

Please do pray for me this month and hopefully everything goes as planned or even better. I have faith that He will provide the best for us all. InshaaAllah. ;)

Love this to bits :D

P/S : Initially, I intent to post this rant on life as a long winding status on Facebook, but I guess it's too personal to be published to 1500+ friends(so called)? Lol.

4th Med - An extreme 'No Life' in Medicine

Assalamualaikum wbt.

After approximately 6 months of disappearing from the last post, here I am, still standing strong in Medicine. Yeay! (Thank God) And tomorrow is the last year of 2014 and the day after tomorrow is a brand NEW YEAR of 2015! Yeay again to that! LOL.

       So, Alhamdullilah, I've survived through semester 4.1 now. Had just moved back to Galway, settling pretty fine in the well known hot spot for students all over Ireland (for it's mad partying). The moment I drove away from Letterkenny, my heart sank a little deeper, but only God knows what awaits us next, isn't that right? :)

       Let's do some serious talking now. I will be sharing my overall clinical experiences again for the semester. Just in case someone somewhere needs some early preparations into fourth med next coming years. So here we go :

• Firstly, the overview of the curriculum of the year. NUI Galway's 4th Med is divided into two semesters which has the exact mirror module in both the semesters. The only difference is that students who are away in peripheral hospitals will be back in Galway and the students who are in Galway will be away for the second semester. Plus, all the MCQs and case reports will be evaluated in the first semester, and all the OSCEs and written exams are in the second semester. To me, the first semester(now) is the scariest. A large portion of the total marks of the whole module are in this semester, that is why it's pretty scary.
• We have 2 core modules which are Women & Child's Health (which includes Obs&Gynae and Paediatrics) and Primary Care & Mental Health (GP+ENT & Psychiatry). Clinical rotations are 4 weekly per department, with exception for 2 weeks of GP placement and 2 weeks of ENT clinics.
• As we are all aware of the title given to this year of Med School (the TOUGHEST YEAR EVER), I can really verify the truth to that title, partially. Having said that, in all those tough moments, I had really enjoyed every little 'joy' with my colleagues. Being in smaller groups of people makes us learn about each other better. That's one of the reasons I will miss being in Donegal so badly. ;(
• I personally loved all the rotations, but I now definitely know where I should and I shouldn't be trying my luck to specialize in, later in the future. This year is the "Year of Discoveries" I would say. Once you have been through all those 5 specialties, you'll eventually know the bigger picture of working as a doctor of Medicine and where you belong in those roles, at least a rough idea of it.
• The rest of it is just as similar to the previous post on clinical tips in 3.2, with loads of extra hardwork on studying constantly(and pretty madly as exam approaches).
• Just one piece of great advice in 4th Med - READ ALL THE CORE TEXTBOOKS RECOMMENDED FROM COVER TO COVER (if possible) ;P

Okay. That's it. I shall continue my long-procrastinated case studies now. And oh, there's not really much of a holiday for people like us anymore now. 2 weeks of winter holidays is like nothing at all, really. I'm longing for my summer to come quick! Till then, see ye in the next 6 months! Happy New Year! Looking ahead for a better year in 2015. InshaaAllah :)

The hike to Slieve League in South Donegal. Wishing to visit you again soon!

P/S : Will miss all the Donegal people too :D!!!

Starting Clinical Year 3.2 - Some Tips (NUIG)

Assalamualaikum wbt.

I can't recall how long ago did I last try writing an entry on anything at all.

       Anyhow, here I am, with less than a week's time to final exam. And I still can't believe I'm half way through medical school now! Alhamdulillah and InshaaAllah, may Allah ease each and everyday of the clinical years ahead. :)

       So far in this "medschool journey", I found this stage of transition from attending lectures to being in the hospital with REAL medical teams and seeing REAL patients fascinating, yet exhausting. Juggling between 3-4 weeks of tutorials and hospital attachments, plus the extra reading to do at home, is just as exhaustive as going for a full 26 miles marathon, metaphorically. Well, at this stage I guess it's not as tough as what the final years have to go through. We will have to go through it eventually, everyone in medschool will surely be. YWNWA! Lol.

       These are the few lessons I picked up all along my 5 medical rotations this semester of 3.2 :

• Smiling is the most essential part of being in the team. The day always is good when you start it with a smile. Smiles are contagious, you know! Imagine those ill patients, all they need is someone with an empathetic heart and a warm smile. That'll get you very very far, I guarantee you. :)))
• Be proactive. Consultants are humans filled with knowledge and experience, so try to get them to share some of those with you. This may vary between the team, the day and the amount of working hours. You do not want to add more to their cortisol levels when they are on-take since last night! This point may require some interpersonal skills and it doesn't take you more than a week to pick it up, it's called common sense!
• Get to know the team members. Being friendly is not prohibited in the hospital. You should not treat them as your bosses, because they are not! Instead, treat them as your friends, with a bit of seniority and respect, I suppose. The most important person you should get close to are the interns! Because they are fresh graduates and most of them are willing to teach you, plus there is less of a generation gap between you and them.
• Time management. Balancing between revising 1000 pages of pathology and spending half your day in the hospital with the team or in tutorials, are absolutely deemed impossible! But, eventually everyone will find their pace. Don't overburden yourself the first few weeks. Start revising early, yes, but revise effectively. As for me, I revise along whatever cases I've seen in the wards, and read up whichever related topics on the case or the things that I am expected to know. Always read your learning objectives/aims of the current rotation you are on. That makes life easier for you in the end of the semester. Less cramming means happier brain.
• Always introduce yourself first! Strangers are awkward zones.
• Treat all the staffs and nurses nicely and they will love you.
• Offer to help out. Put in IV lines, take bloods, put in catheters, NG tubes, do airway management, CPRs, and whatever you are capable of doing. Most of the interns/SHOs are more than happy if you are there to help out. It's a win-win situation anyway. Those are the memory hooks that will help you in exams and also in life, believe me. (The most memorable part of all these to me are assisting a hernial repair in surgery and suturing a lady's forehead in ED!)
• Have a sense of humor and have a good personality with both the team and the patient! My point here is, be a good person. Do not annoy people and try to not offend people, have empathy and be confident at the same time. :)
• Grades are not the ultimate measurement of you being a good doctor in the future. Remember this!!! I was told a thousand times by a thousand people every thousand day (exaggerating)! But, as we all are very competitive homosapiens, we all want good grades to get to the top of the class. I can't deny this fact though. Ironically, you don't want to be a 50% passer doctor either. Knowing only 50% of your stuffs right and saving only 50% of your patient and missing the other diagnoses thus letting 50% them die (I know this won't ever happen in reality though, just a metaphor to scare you :P).
• What you are like now in the wards is what you will become in the future. Habits now stay forever! Says Mr. L. True indeed. So, don't be a lazy student, or else, you'll end up like that lazy doctor you hate. Follow good habits you see and pick them up fast.
• Use your time in the hospital as your studying and OSCE practicing time. What do I mean by these? Every time you take a history, present it to someone, be it your friend, an intern or a senior doctor. And when you do your physical exams, do it as if you are in an OSCE. Take every chance you have wisely!

This is one long entry. I'm in my midst of revising, so I should get back to work now! Happy studying and may Allah grant us barakah in whatever and whichever methods we go for, in achieving success as a Muslim. Smile more, and make someone's life happier each day. Allahu musta'an (In Allah alone we seek help). May He ease. InshaaAllah, amiin.

P/S : Hope these will help anyone entering this transition of medschool. These are not applicable everywhere, though. And oh, I'm currently in Letterkenny GH for a year's away attachment. People here are so superbly nice. Alhamdulillah. :)

Part of St. Conal's Hospital, Letterkenny, Donegal, Ireland. (opposite LGH)

Ramadhan Kareem :)

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Ramadhan is two days away for me! :D

       I miss Ramadhan, really! Last Ramadhan was one fruitful Ramadhan of my first entry year of tarbiyyah. Alhamdulillah. Hopefully this Ramadhan is going to be more advanced than last Ramadhan and hopefully it will advance further in terms of ibadah and intentions. ;)

"Allahumma barak lana fi Rajab wa Sha’ban wa Allahumma balighna Ramadan."  

(O Allah, Make the months of Rajab and Sha’ban blessed for us and allow us to reach Ramadan)

May Allah bless our efforts and may He guide through His way. Amiin. ;)

P/S : Don't be sorrow, 'cause tomorrow, He will show. InshaaAllah. ;)

Be Careful of What Your Heart Speaks of. :)

Assalamualaikum wbt.

       Sometimes, frustrations make your heart wanna rebel so much. But hold on! Rebelling isn't going to do any good to you. Take that long walk down the river, breath in fresh air, remember that Allah loves you, that is why He is testing on you. He wants us to prove our love towards Him. How far could we go for that pure love of His Oneness? :)

       Maybe what we did today relieves us for this short while, but never will it last years ahead. Believe me. Never think with your heart, but think with your soul. And think of Him always. :)

       Not even a month since my last exam paper. Heading for a fresher start this summer. InshaaAllah. Missions to be accomplish in 3months' time. ;)

P/S : Hope your summer months will be well spent as well. May Allah be pleased with everything that we are doing for His sake. Amiin. :)

PRU 14

Assalamualaikum wbt.

So, everyone is still in the "heat" of PRU13, the elections fever of Malaysia is not going to end so soon, at least not for these few weeks. May our spirits of fighting for a betterment never end even until the last day of our live on Earth. InshaaAllah. :)

I have finished my finals and hopefully I'll get through second year of medicine well enough with no resits, please do make du'as for me. Praying hard. May He grant our prayers. InshaaAllah. :)

While I'm sitting here, doing some small research/readings on the Post-PRU analyses, this is what I came out with as a 5 years' resolution for me and maybe it could help you too. Who knows? :)

While waiting for the next Election (PRU14), here's what I think what we should do in these 5 years:

• Cultivating the thinking society, even further.
• Nurturing teenagers/adults with good education.
• Diminishing the gap between races in Malaysia. Strengthening ties.
• Reaching out to the people in those rural areas and give them the best knowledge of what is happening around us.
• Focus on building ourselves and our family of being good muslims/ good members of the society, practising excellent moral values.
• Be someone influential!!! :D

5 years, seemed so small a number, but only God knows what we will become in the next 5 years. Some of you might contest in one of the Parlimentary/DUN seats? InshaaAllah. :)

If you have anything in mind to add on, please do comment. I am more than happy to hear what you think of. ;)

P/S : May this jihaad lasts. Say no to futur! InshaaAllah. :)

Peanut Butter Choc Chip Cookie

Assalamualaikum wbt.

And soooooooo today I baked! Prior to exam week! To quench my crave. :D
Here's a quick share of the recipe I "referenced" from the internet. Heee.

What you'll need :
3/4 cup salted butter/margarine
3/4 cup light brown sugar
1/4 cup caster sugar
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp vanilla
1 egg
3/4 cup creamy/crunchy peanut butter spread
1-1/4 cup plain flour
1/2 tsp baking powder

100g semi-sweet chocolate chips
1/2 cup coarsely chopped peanuts/mixed nuts

Step by step mixing :

1. In a mixing bowl, cream the butter and sugar. Do not melt the butter. Make sure you remove it from the refrigerator at least 30minutes beforehand.
2. Add in baking soda and salt. Mix thoroughly.
3. Put in drops of vanilla and break in the egg into the bowl. Mix.
4. Pour in peanut butter in sections while mixing the ingredients.
5. Sieve in flour and baking powder.
6. Finally, sprinkle chocolate chips and chopped nuts into the mixture.
7. Refrigerate in the freezer for at least 30 mins.

Bake It!

1. Preheat the oven 10-15minutes.
2. Bake them at 180Celcius/350F, for around 10-15minutes. Bake longer if you wish to produce a crispier cookie. (Be careful to not over bake it!)
3. There are two ways of placing it on the baking tray. One is rolling them into balls and the other one is just merely shaping them using the fingers. (The latter produced a better texture) :D

4. Remove from oven and let it cool completely on the baking tray. Then, transfer it onto a wire rack for further cooling.

5. Pack/Keep it in a cookie jar/air tight container! Ready to be served! Eat with warm milk, dunk it. Like oreoooo. :D

***Reference list (LOL, medicine made me reference this! At least I don't bother to use EndNote! xD)

• http://www.averagebetty.com/recipes/peanut-butter-chocolate-chip-cookies-recipe/

• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tS3Xt_H18IQ

• http://www.simplyrecipes.com/recipes/peanut_butter_cookies/

P/S : Happy trying! Bon apetit! Modify it if you wish. This is my first time making these sort of cookies. Alhamdulillah it made my day happier. Crave fulfilled! :D

It Has Its End - Dunya

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Been away for quite some time now. Just a quick share on this heart-touching, full of reminder-song :

Very well stated, this worldly life (dunya) has it end. Do we not remember why are we here, living on Earth? We are here to serve the purpose of life being His servant, and fulfilling our responsibilities as caliph (leader) on Earth. This was why Adam was created and sent down to Earth.

But, never forget this dunya is ending soon, one fine day (Wallahu 'alam, Only He knows when). Our ultimate aim is afterlife (the Akhirat). We all know that being too dunya loving is a "wahan", a disease of loving life and being afraid of death. Are we having this disease? Ask our imaan. =|

Grand de Mosquee Paris, Paris, France. 31st March 2013. :)

Rasulullah (peace be upon him) once said, "The most intelligent person is the one who often remembers death. Constant remembrance of it prevents one from evil and sin and motivates him towards good morals. He said, "The remembrance of death defeats joy."

P/S : Lets always remember to refresh ourselves with things that remind us of the akhirat, avoid being too attached to the worldly life, as it brings more harm than good. InshaaAllah. ;)

14 Rabi'ul 'Akhir

Assalam.

Betapa sekularnya kita sehingga lupa akan kalendar Hijriyah Islam. T.T

Selamat hari lahir kepada saya. Huhu. ;)

Semoga hari-hari yang mendatang dipenuhi dengan hidayahNya. InshaaAllah. :)

P/S : I'm ashamed of myself. ;(

Baby Maryam. ;)

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Today's baby Maryam's 1st birthday! She's finally a year old now! How time had grown with things, huh? :)

May Allah bless you baby Maryam. And may He protect you from evil and let you grow in barakah and rahmah. Hoping greatly that you will be a great muslimah and contribute to the ummah in the future. InshaaAllah. :)

Baby Maryam, loves daddy. :D

I miss my family very much to be honest. Still in plans of not going back this summer, with the thoughts of this as my last summer in Ireland, before I depart back to Malaysia for good. Never know when will I find time to come back to this beautiful, full of courtesy country again. Sobs. :'(

The Sun only shine to whom he wish to shine it upon. Lets pray harder that we will be blessed with His hidayah. :D

"And (had you been present), you would see the sun when it rose, inclining away from their cave on the right, and when it set, passing away from them on the left, while they were (laying) within an open space thereof. That was from the signs of Allah . He whom Allah guides is the (rightly) guided, but he whom He leaves astray - never will you find for him a protecting guide."

[Al-Kahf (18) : 17]

P/S : May these weeks be enlightening to us. Lets be stronger, because things are getting more challenging for everyone, not just yourself. :)

ادع :)

Assalamualaikum wbt.

P/S : Jazakallahu khayr for always being there to remind me about life. Allah sent me something beautiful to be appreciated and inshaaAllah, I will appreciate it very much. ;')

Sabr - Patience ♥

Assalamualaikum wbt.

"And if We give man a taste of mercy from Us and then We withdraw it from him, indeed, he is despairing and ungrateful. But if We give him a taste of favor after hardship has touched him, he will surely say, "Bad times have left me." Indeed, he is exultant and boastful, except for those who are patient and do righteous deeds; those will have forgiveness and great reward." 

Quran [Surah Hud (11) : 9-11]

Allah is The Merciful, never burdening us with things beyond our capabilities. Worry not friends, He knows what's best for us. All we need is tawakkal. All is well, inshaaAllah. :)

One day, inshaaAllah. He will show the right way. ♥

P/S : Fluctuations? A norm. Give out a smile, make a difference. :)

LISTEN!

Assalamualaikum wbt.

This isn't totally related to the current LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN issue in Malaysia. Enough with the viral on Facebook, let it settle for now.

       My intention is to direct you to your own heart. Listen to your heart often! Your heart is your seed of everything in you. Thus, shape it well, clean it everyday, nurture it, take great care of it. Because your heart is where the syaaitan targets upon. To deceive you, to make you go astray. Seek protection from Allah, He is the best protector of all. Allahu Al-Waliy (The Protector).

"And if an evil suggestion comes to you from Satan, then seek refuge in Allah . Indeed, He is Hearing and Knowing." 

[Al'Araf (7) : 200]

SubhanAllah :)

"Find the sweetness in your own heart, that you may find the sweetness in every Heart."

-Rumi-

P/S : Ihsaan. Act good, be good, for Allah is watching what we do every single second. Improvise, do best, be great, contribute! InshaaAllah. :)

All Talk

Assalamualaikum wbt. May Allah enlighten our way to Jannah, inshaaAllah Ta'ala. :)

We often do talk about plans of getting the tie knot, aka getting Married!

BUT

Are we really prepared to build a family of our own, while we are still never behaving perfectly to our parents and siblings, and most importantly, not portraying Ehsan to Allah? ;(

Are we really ready to take care of another person, while we never had took ourselves seriously? Never had fulfilled our own soul's rights? Never giving time to Allah? Never remembering to appreciate the people around us? And the list goes on...

STOP TALKING!

P/S : Just a short reminder to myself. To stop talking about getting married, for I know that I have not fulfill my own rights over me at all circumstances YET, ever!

Hijrah.

Assalamualaikum wbt.

It's Awal Muharram of 1434H, people! 1 Muharram marks the first day of the Islamic year. Alhamdulillah, being given to enter a new year is a blessing from Him, couldn't ask for more. :')

       So, what's your new year's resolution in mind so far? I know you have tons, list it down before your spirit goes away! Insya-Allah that will keep you istiqomah in pursuing your "turning point". :)

       Don't be afraid to create a turning point within you for Allah. He knows what's inside and out of everyone. He knows best. Allahu 'alim. If you don't seek to change, then you shall forever remain the stagnant you forever. Thus, grab hold of this chance to deviate from all those time-wasting "worship" of the dunya, and focus on getting the eternal Jannah in the afterlife.

       What if you don't see the next Hijr calendar year again? What if this was the last year of your breath? What have you done for the past years that contributes to the ummah? Non-rhetorical questions are to be acted upon, not just to be answered verbally.

       Maal Hijrah ya ukhti and akhi out there! May Allah make us stronger inside out. Insya-Allah. :)

We may not see what's ahead, but we can see what we are heading to, reflected by our actions. :')

P/S : He always put us in the right place, never wrong. Learn, learn to be grateful and take time to realise that everything is something in life. Insya-Allah. Amiin. :')

Tika Itu

Assalamualaikum wbt.

P/S : Inna Maal Usri Yusra. InsyAllah. :)

Layakkah Aku?

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Layakkah aku menggalas tanggungjawab ini?
Layakkah aku untuk SyurgaMu?
Layakkah aku untuk semua ini?

Allah Maha Melihat, Maha Mendengar dan Maha Mengetahui.

P/S : Lets go strive forward!!! InsyAllah :)

Marriage.

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Again this topic was raised yesterday.

Am I really ready for this, I asked my heart. Is my family really ready for this, I pondered.

"Half-ready."

Therefore, I am not ready. Wait till the right time comes. Fin.

P/S : Lets find His love first, before you find love. :)

Gift to Myself. :)

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Since it's my special day. I'm gifting this to myself. LOL. :)

P/S : Since forever, it will stay the strongest motivator of all time. InsyAllah :)

Duri.

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Pernahkah anda terasa hati seperti ditusuk duri-duri yang halus?
Pedih.
Sedikit demi sedikit tusukannya.

Hari demi hari.
Luka semakin mendalam.
Jiwa semakin parah.

Di sebalik segala senyuman.
Ada rintihan.
Tiada siapa yang lebih memahami.
Kecuali Dia.

:'(


P/S : Tomorrow will be the worst special day ever in my 20 years of life. Pretty sure.

Hidup

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Och-Toh-Burgh

Assalamualaikum wbt.

It's already the month of October! This flies. It has been a month.

October meant a lot. Hope this year's October will be among the best month of the year. InsyaAllah. :')

Life is again a little scattered. Trying REAL hard to dissolve myself in this. Trying REAL hard to be better each day. Improvements, by improvements. Toddler steps to searching the perfection. To follow the Prophet Muhammad's sunnahs. :)

You may be hiding behind the clouds, but soon with His will, you will be shining all day long. Providing warmth and light to everyone of your area of  influence. Have firm faith. Because He knows best. Al-'Alim. :)

P/S : May Allah bless these few steps, making us stronger inside and out. ;)

Sebbie

Assalamualaikum wbt. :)

How is school/college/work going on for you? Hope everything gets better day by day. InsyaAllah. ;)

       Had been wanting to write on many things, but ideas just won't come, and due to time constraint, itsy bitsy of life couldn't be shared here. =/

A creation of obedience. :')

       Just so you know, the juniors are already here in Galway and Cork, safe and sound! 2nd Med lectures have started for almost 4 weeks up to date. May Allah ease this journey till the end of life. Amiin. Medicine isn't the hard thing to endure, it's life that is hard to go through, without His help.

       Done with Galway Excursion (GE), now life focuses on ourselves. Sometimes, being there for people but not being there for yourself is a bad thing to do! Am learning to balance between everything. InsyaAllah, each hole you fall in, will teach you how to be stronger, more masculine, to climb back out of the deep pit. He will provide, remember? :)

       That's it for today. Need to maximise my time of the day, for productiveness! And oh, let me introduce you to my new boyfriend : Sebbie The Nikon. :P

P/S : May this redundant entry of myself benefit you somehow, somewhere. Please make du'a for me, that I'd be strong enough to endure everything that is around me. Jazakallahu khayr. :')

Be Strong.

Assalamualaikum wbt.

P/S : This made me feel better. We must be strong for Allah, not for other people or even for ourselves! :')

Kau Fikir Kau Hebat?

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Sedang dalam 'mood' baharu. Semester baru, rumah baru, suasana baru. Alhamdulillah. Tahun Kedua sudah pun bermula, menampakkan wajah gorillanya!!! Lulz. xD

   Nahhh, this is just the beginning. Thousands of road blocks ahead, I'm pretty sure!

Berbalik kepada tajuk yang di terpahat atas, layakkah kita untuk menapakkan diri di kategori orang "hebat"? Mahu menonjolkan diri selalu, mahu dikenali orang ramai, mahukan popularity. Ikhlaskah perbuatan sedemikian? Tidak sama sekali! No, no and noooo!

   Islam perlukan kita? Tidak berkembangkah Islam kalau tiadanya kita dalam gerakannya? Atau kita yang perlukan Islam dan Allah untuk maju di dunia dan akhirat? Fikir-fikirkanlah. Dan ingatlah pada janji Allah yang pasti itu!

"And the worldly life is not but amusement and diversion; but the home of the Hereafter is best for those who fear Allah , so will you not reason?" [Al-'An'am 6 : 32]

   There are millions of people out there who are on their way to Jannah, and yet they aren't like you, wants Jannah, but never were on the right track!

   So what if you don't want to do da'wah to people anymore? So what if you feel like being just those regular people, who repeat the exact same thing daily until the very last day of their breath? Do you think it will be Islam's loss or yours? You have the answer in your head already. Senyum, tak perlu kata apa-apa. :)

P/S : Weird Rojak post. Rant of the newness of the year. Note to self.

Everybody hurts...

P/S : Wordless week. Tiring. Depressed. ;(

Practice Practice Practice!

Assalamualaikum wbt.

P/S : Training sokmo gitu. InsyaAllah. :)

Eid Mubarak!

Assalamualaikum wbt. Peace be upon you. :)

Ramadhan has ended. That was the last iftar from the blessed Ramadhan, 1433Hijri. May Allah accept those ibadahs and supplications from us, sincerely. Taqabbal Allahu Mina wa Minkum. InsyaAllah.

       May the 29 days of Ramadhan bring great and tons of positive impacts on our life. Syawal is the month to supplicate and applicate those learnt tarbiyyah. Personally, I learnt best to be patient this Ramadhan. To bite my tongue more, and say less. InsyaAllah, hope this lasts. :)

       Happy Eid Mubarak to all the muslims! 1 Syawal 1433H. Forgive me of all the inappropriate or maybe hurtful actions to you, be it with the heart, the words and etc. I sincerely am sorry of the khilafs done. Lets forgive and forget always. Allah loves people who does this. In fact, we should do this everyday before going to sleep. Never keep grudges, it ain't good for your heart. ;)

P/S : Don't forget to revive the Eid morning with sunnahs of the Prophet. ;)

Dhuha Talk with Ustaz Don :D

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Just got back from Ceramah Dhuha in Surau Madrasah Ihsaniah, Ampang Jaya. Located just 300metres from home. ;)

   While all the input is still fresh in mind, I figured out, it's best to share. Hee. Plus, the excitement of meeting Ustaz Don Daniyal is still here! This is super dream come true! Allahu Allah. He really knows when to grant me wishes which I myself aren't acknowledged of. :')

   This was officially, the first religious talk I've been to in Ampang, as far as I remember, ever since I was born. *Exaggerating. :P* Don't get me wrong, Ampang has been receiving lots of Ustaz/Ustazah since many years ago. Even TGNA and TGHA, and UAI had been here in Ampang, but those places weren't as mobile as the surau near my place. *excuses*

Alright, lets get to the points of Ustaz Don's delivered talk. :)

1.  Nuzul Quran. The delivery of 5 of the verses of Surah Iqra', to Rasulullah(pbuh), the acknowledgement of his prophecy, from Allah, via Jibrail A.S. Rasulullah ran back home, down the cave he was hiding in and was shivering as a result of the being shocked, meeting Jibrail and was forced to read(Iqra').
2. The description of the angels. Jibrail A.S. was described to have 600 pairs wings(600 each left and right). And Rasulullah described, when he saw Jibrail, it made Rasulullah stunt, because those wings covered the whole universe. And that's only a pair of wings, 599 pairs still kept unspreaded. SubhanaAllah. I could hardly imagine the size of Jibrail A.S. To WOW us more, Ustaz Don explained further about angels. Jibrail told Rasulullah, thay there is another angel bigger and stronger than it is, that is the angel named Israfel. The angel who will blow the final "trumpet" that marks Qiyamah(D-Day). One pair of its wings is equal to 600pairs of the wings of Jibrail. SubhanaAllah, AllahuAkhbar! Not only that, there are 8 more angels that are more powerful than they are. Refer to Surah Al-Haaqqa [69:17].
3. The story of 3 cousins. Abdullah bin Jaafar, Hasan bin Ali and Husin bin Ali. Bani Hashim, Quraisy, the families of Rasulullah. The 3 of them traveled to Makkah to do their Umrah. On the way traveling back to Madinah, they lost their camel which carried their whole food supply. Feeling hungry and thirsty, they stopped by a house of an old woman. They pleaded for a drink and food. The old woman, with pure willing-ness, offered them goat milk and offered to sacrifice and cook the goat, the only goat/source of food of her house, for the trio. They ate and drank, and thanked the old woman for her kindness. They invited her to their homes if she came to Madinah. When her husband returned, he searched for the goat, the old woman then told him the whole story about the young men. He then scolded and blabered longggg until, it was described that he had lost words to say after scolding. Long later, the old woman and her husband stumbled upon poverty. They came to Madinah to work as camel faeces collectors during the days and sell them during the night. One day, Hasan recognised the old woman and approached her. Unfortunately, she could not recall of the incident of the trio. However, Hasan decided to reward the old woman with 1000goats and 1000dinars. Husin did the same, and Abdullah bin Jaafar did double. In total, she had 4000dinars and 4000goats. That is equal to being a billionaire in this era of time!!! The moral of the story is, we must have clean niyyah(intention) in helping people, like the old woman. She did not even recall being generous to those young men in need. We must be ikhlas, and Allah will surely reward us, eveen if it takes 10 years or more. :')
4. Abdullah bin Jaafar and the slave of the family of Saiyidina Uthman bin Affan. One day, Abdullah came across the farm of the Uthman family. Abdullah saw the slave eating bread and giving the same amount of bread he ate to the watch dog in front of him. Abdullah then question why he does so, as the family of Uthman was well known of their high values of akhlak. The slave explains that he treats the dog, the creature, created by Allah, as his best friend, because the dog was always accompanying him in doing rounds in the farm, watching over the goats and lambs together with him. Thus, he will give the dog the same amount of food he eats. Abdullah felt moved by his explanations and decided to buy the farm and the slave. Going through several trials of discussion to purchase them with the Uthman family, they finally sold the farm and the slave to Abdullah, considering that he is the family of Rasulullah, but they were full with sadness. This is because the slave was born and grew up with the family and the farm was their precious inheritance. Abdullah then freed the slave and gave away the farm to the slave as a gift. Immediately after that, the slave said, as it was gifted to him, he wants to wakaf it(gift it) back to the Uthmanians. This shows how loyal could a servant be to his master. Are we loyal to Allah? ;(

   These weren't the full content of the talk Ustaz Don gave. But, these are the most impactful ones I remember. May Allah bless and may us take lessons from each of these stories told. InsyaAllah. ;D

P/S : Lets FEEL and FILL this Ramadhan! InsyaAllah. ^_^v

Nuzul Quran, tonight! ;)

-via Mobile Android Blogger-

Between disliking and hating.

Assalamualaikum wbt. Good evening/morning. :)

So, what's with the title this time around huh?

   It shall speak for itself. Hee. Too lazy to elaborate much. Felt like dumping everything in mind, over here, but I know this isn't and not going to be, the best place to do so. Allah is the best place to seek help and only to Him, I seek. My He ease these days in Ramadhan and those future coming days. Ameen. :')

   Dislike being disliked, hate being hated.

That's it for today. Wallahu 'alam. Never forget to reflect upon yourself, everyday before going into your 'dream zone'. Forgive people and DO NOT forget to pray for forgiveness from Allah.

Jazakallahu khayran khatiran for reading.

Allahu ghaffur raheem. ;)

-via Mobile Android Blogger-

Love Is On It's Way ;)

Assalamualaikum wbt and Hi dear readers.

How is your Ramadhan so far? I bet, with the barakah of this holy month, everything is going smooth, aite? InsyaAllah. Ameen. To those whom are going through hard times(like me. LOL), be patient, He knows what's best for us, each and every second of our entire life! Everything is well written, our fate is already in His books since before we're born, what we could do is to ikhtiar(try our best), du'a(supplicate), and tawakkal, leave everything for Him to decide. 'Cause He is the All knowing, remember? ;)

A heart-touching article to ponder upon : Will You Change With Me? :''')

      Here's a song which had caught my eardrums tonight. May Allah enlighten our minds and guide us through the seeking of ourselves in this world of unimaginable creatures of His. SubhanAllah. La illaha ilallah. :)

P/S : Was once fanatic with the JBs. Now not so. But still, am trying to convert everything into His remembrance. InsyaAllah. :)

*13 Ramadhan 1433H : 5 more days to Nuzul Quran. How much of the Holy Quran have you covered?*

Jahilliyyah!

Ya Rabb,
Please move me away from those jahilliyyah acts.
Please cleanse all these completely, Ya Allah.
Please make it tired,
Please make it bitter,
Please make everything jahilliyyah "inedible", Ya Allah.
I am really scared to live on life full of the old me.

Ya Rabb,
Clean away these unnecessary feelings of mine,
These worthless feelings,
These egos,
These angers.
I really don't need them, ever again!

Allahu Allah.
Clear my thoughts.
Clear my vision.
Clear my actions.
Most importantly, clear my heart from blackdots, Ya Allah.

;(

Sincerely,
Your sinned Slave who wishes for Jannah. ;|